Don't pretend to have all the answers.
- Allen Abbott
- 5 days ago
- 4 min read
Stepping into a leadership role can feel like someone handed you a map with missing pieces, then asked you to lead the expedition anyway. Overnight, the expectations change. People look to you for direction, quick decisions, and confidence. And somewhere in the background, a little voice starts whispering, “If I don’t know everything, they’ll figure out I’m not ready.”
That voice is common. It is also loud, wrong, and wildly expensive if you let it run the show.
Why new leaders feel like they must know everything
New leaders often confuse authority with omniscience. The role comes with more visibility, more consequences, and more observers. You are not just doing work anymore, you are setting direction, making tradeoffs, and shaping how the team thinks and acts. That shift can trigger a strong desire to look competent at all times, especially if the workplace culture rewards certainty more than it rewards good thinking.
There is also a credibility fear hiding in plain sight: if you admit you do not know something, people might question your readiness. So instead of saying “I’ll find out,” leaders try to manufacture an answer on the spot. It feels safer in the moment. It is not.
The real risk is not “not knowing” - it is pretending
The problem is not uncertainty. The problem is performing certainty.
When leaders act like they must have every answer, a few predictable things happen. They take on too much, which increases stress and can push them toward burnout. They make decisions with less input and less information, which increases the odds of avoidable mistakes. They unintentionally train the team to stay quiet because “the boss already knows,” which kills collaboration. And if they guess confidently and get it wrong, trust takes a hit.
Here is the part most people underestimate: trust is not just about being right. It is about being believable. If your team starts to wonder whether your answers are real or improvised, your influence shrinks fast.
Ok, so how do we avoid this?
You avoid it by making “not knowing yet” a normal, professional part of how you lead. That does not mean you shrug or disappear. It means you lead the process of getting the right answer.
A simple rule: trade instant answers for reliable answers, and do it out loud.
That looks like this in real conversations:
“That’s a great question. I could give you an answer right now, but I want to make sure it’s accurate and actually what you’re asking. Would you be OK if I dug into it and got you a firm answer by Tuesday at 3:00 PM?”
“Honestly, I’d love to know the answer to that too, and I don’t yet. Can I follow up with you tomorrow by 10:30 AM with a well-researched answer and options?”
“I’m not sure, and I don’t want to guess. Here’s what I’m going to do next, and here’s when you’ll hear back from me.”
Make no mistake, the magic is in the follow-through. If you use this approach, you must honor the date and time you promised OR check in with them before then and ask for more time. If you keep your commitments, people learn that you are dependable, not performative. Over time, that reliability becomes your credibility, and "I'll find that answer" becomes a response they can count on and feel good about.
Why “fake it” backfires, even when you get away with it sometimes
Sure, sometimes you can wing it and be right. But that is gambling with your reputation, and the odds are not in your favor. A few wrong answers that sounded confident can do more damage than ten honest “I’ll confirm that” responses ever will. Worse yet, there is a good chance no one will tell you they see through your attempt at an answer.
Influence is fragile. Once people see you guess and miss, they start double-checking everything. And when your team spends time verifying you, they are not spending time executing.
A quick reality check from AI: So you hate 'false' but confident answers from AI?
Even AI systems are famous for this problem. They can produce confident-sounding answers that are plausible but false. We hate it when AI does it because it wastes time and breaks trust! Leaders do not get a pass on the same behavior.
The better move is the same move we want from "solidly curated" AI: acknowledge uncertainty, show your plan, and return with something solid.
A practical way to build this into your leadership style
If you want to make this easy on yourself, create a simple operating habit: when a question comes in that you cannot answer confidently, capture it and commit to a follow-up deadline.
Write it down, track it, and close the loop. Your team will quickly learn that you are not dodging. You are taking the time to be accurate, and accuracy scales and builds confidence better than bravado and undeserved confidence.
New leaders do not need to be encyclopedias. They need to be truth-tellers, sense-makers, and builders of clarity. The goal is not to look like you know everything. The goal is to lead in a way that makes other people smarter, faster, and more confident too.
Final takeaways
Nobody has all the answers. Not you. Not your boss. Not the loudest person in the meeting. And not AI.
What separates strong leaders from stressed leaders is not how much they know. It is how they handle what they do not know. If you can stay calm, stay honest, and stay reliable, you will earn the kind of credibility that does not collapse under pressure.
Written by: Allen L. Abbott, MS MBA ACC Organizational Development Consultant & Executive Coach
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